By Elyse Wood

It’s not a great bragging point at a dinner party, but let’s face it: not every graduating high school senior is ready for college. Clues include low grades, no extra-curricular activities, small college list and a lack of interest in applications.

Denial won't help, and neither will  encouraging your child to mimic the herd of students flocking off to college. Learning is individualized and today there are many options like independent college advisors, extra college prep, volunteering, or even a little soul searching to help the inevitable lost sheep.

"A parent may be frustrated with bad grades in their child's freshman and sophomore year," says Adam Metsch, an independent advisor for College Advisor of New England. "A lot of parents take this as a sign that their kid isn't ready for college."

But Metsch believes this is the prime time to get involved.

If you can't handle the college process and have the funds, bring in a third party. This helps create structure and takes a bit of the stress out of the process.

Metsch works with students of all caliber and parents of all personalities. Some parents realize they don't know enough to guide their kids; others don't want to sway their kids’ decisions.

Either way, an independent advisor can help flesh out realistic options. More often than not, students become emotionally attached to unrealistic schools, both academically or financially, Metsch says. Allow enough time to explore and get excited about other choices.

“We coach parents, and put them through workshops," says Metsch. "Most of the time their own anxiety is being projected into their kids. I suggest regular family meetings."

This keeps everybody in the loop and encourages the student to make consistent progress. A parent should be involved in almost every aspect of the process, he says,  except SATs and college essays.

Don't forget to take advantage of guidance offices at your kid's school. The services are often there, but underutilized. Resources include college fact books, local scholarships, and one-to-one counseling.

Metsch says most people begin his services a year and a half before graduation.  Sometimes the goal is to find the right four-year college, but often, other programs and a "gap year" make more sense.

If a student takes a gap year with the intention of applying to college later, just getting a job isn't going to cut it. She needs an academic focus. 

Programs like Dynamy, a year residential program in Worcester, Mass for 17-22 year olds, houses and organizes internships for students. Dynamy offers 150 study programs and an option to take winter sessions at Clark University. It provides structure, independence, and an academic focus for students. Of course, the program comes with a fee, but it's not nearly as costly as choosing the wrong four-year school.

Most private prep schools now offer a "thirteenth year" program, in which faculty and staff can pinpoint a student's problems and focus on solving them. 

Community colleges are also an excellent, low-cost option for the student who is unsure or unable to tackle college work. These schools often have excellent counseling services to help students transfer if and when they're ready for a four-year school.

Be a shepherd to your child, help delve through all the options and be open to different ideas.

For more information on independent advising and other gap year opportunities visit Adam Metsch's website: www.college-advisor.com/